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Thursday, March 4, 2010

25 tips to make your marriage rock!

Zenguy and I are friends first and seemed to be married for zillion years or so. While we have mutual love and care for each other, we still need to work on our marriage and relationship often time. Here are a few ways, you can do that with your spouse. While this tips are for happier marriage, it can be applied to other relationships as well as such boyfriend or girl friend, a friend, parent, siblings etc.

1. Do not take each other for granted.
2. Always make time for each other, no matter how busy you think you  are.
3. Do not hide information from each other, no matter how bad it might be.
4. Respect your partner. Without respect, you can  not love anyone.
5. Say sorry when you are or might be wrong.
6. Be a good listener. Don't interrupt.
7. Do not compare your partner to someone famous or fictional. (Note to self: Zenguy is not Colin firth or Mr. Darcy!)
8. Work through your disagreements and fights. Don't ever physically abuse in anger.
9. Never go to bed angry. (This works, I know as Zenguy keeps talking till 3 am, until I can not keep my eyes open and ready to resolve the issue :-)
10. Marriage is a full time job, give 100% each, not 50-50%.
11. Never kiss and tell about your fights. Write in journal instead (for your eyes only)
12. Make each other laugh, do silly things. Laughter is best remedy for most issues.
13. Trust each other.
14. Be faithful, expect same.
15. Do something special for them, that you usually do not do. (Zenguy read a Jane Austen book for me)
16. Express your love everyday in small or big ways.
17. Kiss and show love in front of kids. It is okay and healthy (as long it is only kiss and not more.)
18. Show love in action and behavior, not just words.
19. When angry, do not say what you might regret later. If you did say it by chance, apologize as soon as you can.
20. Falling in love is easy, maintaining it hard, work at it. Remember why and how you fell in love first time.
21. Take time for yourself, love yourself first before you can give love.
22. Don't let your in-law affect how you feel about your spouse.
23. Don't let your friends in between your life.
24. Do not argue or fight in front of kids or other loved ones.
25. When going gets tough, hang in there. Give your relationship a chance or thousand chances as it is worth it.

Bonus tip just for fun: Secret to happy marriage:  be too tired to fight :-)

How do you work on your marriage or relationships? Do you have tips to share? I would love to hear from you.


Photo Source: rd.com


Megan said...


I am not yet married, but these tips are wonderful for me and my boyfriend. I have seen my parents fight in front of me and it affected me in bad ways so I like your #24 point so well. Thank you for inspiring posts always. I do not always comment here but maybe I should.

Anonymous said...

Pretty good Ideas there. I would like to add one more to your list. Hey 26 is a pretty good number!

--The best way to stop an argument is to lose it. No need to driver your point in an argument. The best time is when there is no argument!

zengirl said...

I am glad these tips will be useful for you and your boyfriend. I am sorry to hear about your parents fighting in front of you, I am sure it was un0intentional and I am sure you will not make similar mistake.

I like that one! Yep, no arrgument is best time for sure. Thanks for suggestion and your comment here.

Anonymous said...

My biggest issue is my in-law, they just simply do not like me, they think I have taken their son away from them. Maybe, I should follow your advise #22 and other one taking time for myself in #21. Even though I knew these, I needed to be reminded of it today. Thank you.

zengirl said...


Sometimes parents have hard time letting go of the kid, when when they grow up. Try not to let them come between you, as long both of you care and love each other. I am sure and hope with time, they too will see it, that someone else can love their child as much as them.

Arvind Devalia said...

Excellent tips Zengirl - I can relate to all of these and especially number 9. It seems such a shame to ruin another day with the previous day's baggage.

And of course number 12, laugh together a lot:-)

zengirl said...


Thank you for stopping by and for your comment here. It is always nice to hear from someone whose writing I admire. :-)

Yes #9, works very well when you are extremely sleepy! Like you wrote, laughter is best remedy. It works with friends too!!