In the beginning of the relationship courtship, we (guys and gals alike) tend to go out of our ways to please some one we like, even spending lot of money on the dates to impress our loved ones. How do we still feel and be romantic when we are in long term relationship for awhile, and do not have much money left to impress our partner? There are a few ways to still be romantic on free or cheap, and shows you care from a heart.
1. Say "I love you" from a heart and mean it.
2. Smile, hug and kiss. Let him/her know you are happy to see them,.
3. Tell jokes when he/she is down (or not), cheer them up, be clown for them.
4. Be honest with them, do not hide things, also trust them.
5. Cook together some new recipe or old one, for each other.
6. Let him/her sleep in late, Massage back or feet for them.
7. Clean up house, car, garage and surprise them.
8. Do something special he/she likes but you may not; such as watch chick flick with her, go to a car show for him.
9. Write down top 10 reason why you love him/her.
10. Remember how you fell in love, share and recreate memories.
11. Hold hands and sit in peace, doing nothing.
12. Watch sunrise or sunset together.
13. Write special note or poem for him/her, even when you are not a good writer or a poet.
14. Send flowers or baloons just because (Some guys like that as well, as it is unexpected)
15. Say "sorry" when you are wrong/or have messed up.
16. When he/she is talking something from heart, listen without interrupting and without thinking of response to give back. Be open minded.
17. Create some ritual together and do it every year.
18. Stand up and support him/her when someone is not fair to them (even when he/she is not present)
19. Know your partner's moods and act accordingly.
20. Be supportive, Be flexible, Be understanding.
While these suggestions may not be flashy but they sure are from heart and will take an effort on your part and your partner sure will cherish it longer. While sometimes we like to and want to spend money for our beloved, we can still show, we care for them even when are low on cash but high on love.
How do you show you love someone? Do you spend money? Do you have ritual? What does your partner does that makes you feel loved? Usually best things in life are free and not things that you can buy.
Zengirl
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
10 Ways to declutter your house
Not too long ago, I wrote about 7 ways your clutter costing you , check it out, if you have not read it yet. In this post, we will take a look at a few ways to start decluttering, as it is often overwhelming to start, at least for me.
1. Start small, such as one drawer of dresser, or one small area near entrance or corner. Set a timer for ten minutes and clean as much as you can in those 10 minutes. (I can not remember where I have heard this 10 minutes tidy concept, if someone knows, let me know so I can give proper credit where it is due)
2. Involve your family: spouse, kids etc in it. Make it exciting as a game.
3. I usually get 5 large boxes/trash bags and label them, Keep box, Donate/sell Box, Throw away box, recycle box, and I keep one "maybe" box as well. I put that "maybe" box in one area for 2 weeks and If I do not miss it, out it goes in donate pile.
4. Start in one area/room and finish that area before moving on to other things. Sometimes, looking at old books/letters/photos can be distracting as I usually go back in time looking at old memories, keep those in "to-look-at later" box, when you finish with your 10 minutes tidy time.
5. Room will look messier and worse before it will start to look better, so do not worry. It will all come together at the end. Once you finish 10 minutes tidy time, and you think you want to continue, do so until you are ready to take a break.
6. If you have not used an item for 2 years, it should go in donate/sell pile. If you have an emotional attachment to it, see if it possible for you to keep a picture of it, or small piece of it, instead of whole thing. When in doubt, do not get rid of it, put in "may-be" box for awhile. It works for me usually.
7. Once you sort out items in area, find an appropriate storage place for all "keep box" items. Create appropriate storage area for incoming mail, outgoing mail, postage stamps, envelopes, etc in office space. Trash expired medicines, vitamins and makeup items. Also, throw away non repairable toys and electronic items.
8. Always recycle and reuse items first if you can. While you are purging your house, do not buy new gadgets or items for house, it will just defeat the cleaning process.
9. If it gets overwhelming, stop or work while you listen to upbeat music. Once you start to see small progress, it will encourage most of us to finish it all the way.
10. Show and teach spouse, kids and other family members where item should go, they will do it themselves next time. Maintaining is much easier once the process is in place.
Start it slow, everyday little time devoted to decluttering will make whole process easier. Once you have a cleaner house with less stuff or just enough stuff, everyone will be happier and finding things right away. Happy cleaning.
What are your decluttering methods? What works for your house?
Zengirl
1. Start small, such as one drawer of dresser, or one small area near entrance or corner. Set a timer for ten minutes and clean as much as you can in those 10 minutes. (I can not remember where I have heard this 10 minutes tidy concept, if someone knows, let me know so I can give proper credit where it is due)
2. Involve your family: spouse, kids etc in it. Make it exciting as a game.
3. I usually get 5 large boxes/trash bags and label them, Keep box, Donate/sell Box, Throw away box, recycle box, and I keep one "maybe" box as well. I put that "maybe" box in one area for 2 weeks and If I do not miss it, out it goes in donate pile.
4. Start in one area/room and finish that area before moving on to other things. Sometimes, looking at old books/letters/photos can be distracting as I usually go back in time looking at old memories, keep those in "to-look-at later" box, when you finish with your 10 minutes tidy time.
5. Room will look messier and worse before it will start to look better, so do not worry. It will all come together at the end. Once you finish 10 minutes tidy time, and you think you want to continue, do so until you are ready to take a break.
6. If you have not used an item for 2 years, it should go in donate/sell pile. If you have an emotional attachment to it, see if it possible for you to keep a picture of it, or small piece of it, instead of whole thing. When in doubt, do not get rid of it, put in "may-be" box for awhile. It works for me usually.
7. Once you sort out items in area, find an appropriate storage place for all "keep box" items. Create appropriate storage area for incoming mail, outgoing mail, postage stamps, envelopes, etc in office space. Trash expired medicines, vitamins and makeup items. Also, throw away non repairable toys and electronic items.
8. Always recycle and reuse items first if you can. While you are purging your house, do not buy new gadgets or items for house, it will just defeat the cleaning process.
9. If it gets overwhelming, stop or work while you listen to upbeat music. Once you start to see small progress, it will encourage most of us to finish it all the way.
10. Show and teach spouse, kids and other family members where item should go, they will do it themselves next time. Maintaining is much easier once the process is in place.
Start it slow, everyday little time devoted to decluttering will make whole process easier. Once you have a cleaner house with less stuff or just enough stuff, everyone will be happier and finding things right away. Happy cleaning.
What are your decluttering methods? What works for your house?
Zengirl
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
10 ways to simplify your health
Prevention is always better than cure. There are a few steps we can take to simplifying our health.
1. Drink 8-10 glasses of water every day.
2. Eat rainbow colors fruits and vegetables and whole grains to get vitamins and nutrients.
3. Get 20 minutes of sunshine everyday to get your vitamin D.
4, Limit processed food, fried food, sugary food, soda, alcohol drinks.
5. Always eat breakfast. Eat 5-6 short meals through out the day.
6. Eat before you are famished and stop before you are full. It takes 20 minutes for brain to register you are full.
7. Cook and make simple salad and other meals from scratch, you will save money as well your health.
8. Walk, bike, dance, climb, Jump, have fun exercising. For a good exercise you do not need quality gym equipment or sport outfit.
9.Get 8 hours of sleep. Nap in afternoon for 15 minutes, if you can, short rest does wonder to your body and mind.
10. Take deep breath, slow down and enjoy the roses, garden, children, people around you.
How do you stay healthy? What works for you?
Zengirl
1. Drink 8-10 glasses of water every day.
2. Eat rainbow colors fruits and vegetables and whole grains to get vitamins and nutrients.
3. Get 20 minutes of sunshine everyday to get your vitamin D.
4, Limit processed food, fried food, sugary food, soda, alcohol drinks.
5. Always eat breakfast. Eat 5-6 short meals through out the day.
6. Eat before you are famished and stop before you are full. It takes 20 minutes for brain to register you are full.
7. Cook and make simple salad and other meals from scratch, you will save money as well your health.
8. Walk, bike, dance, climb, Jump, have fun exercising. For a good exercise you do not need quality gym equipment or sport outfit.
9.Get 8 hours of sleep. Nap in afternoon for 15 minutes, if you can, short rest does wonder to your body and mind.
10. Take deep breath, slow down and enjoy the roses, garden, children, people around you.
How do you stay healthy? What works for you?
Zengirl
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Healing the hurting heart
Life is funny in a way, as we do get most hurt by people closet to our heart, and not by someone whom we barely know. People close to us, be it close friend, sibling, cousins, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, can hurt us emotionally, sometimes with words and sometimes worse. We are going to talk about hurt by words, a emotional hurt here.
How to heal, when you are hurting and move on, when it is hard and you do not want to? I wrote a post not too long ago about being Have you gotten hurt , it was and is very hard for me to deal with.
We can not prevent of getting hurt by other person, as it would be impossible unless we lived alone in woods. But we can steps to minimize the pain and move forward. How so? Let's explore.
1. Write down in journal or write a letter to them (Do not mail it, or give it to them, just write it for your eyes only) Write everything down you feel. Talk your feelings to someone else who will understand and not judge you. If you can not find/trust anyone to listen, that is okay, you can talk to a stuffed toy or picture of your friend and let it know how you are hurt and how it is making you feel in details.
2. Once your initial anger/frustration is out, you can try talking to a person who hurt you in person. Make sure, timing is good for both of you and there are no other distractions. When you talk, keep flow and mind open. Do not accuse or attack person but talk about situation in focus. Once you talk, listen to other person's explanations. It simply could be that person, never realized that he/she was hurting you.
3. Once you talked your feelings out, see how genuine other person's feelings are. If they are truly in dark or truly sorry, you can forgive and be friends with them slowly.
4. Sometimes, most of us are not so lucky, and other person may not feel they have done anything wrong and they accuse you instead. Try to remain calm but firm in your beliefs. Sometimes, you may have to walk out on that relationship for short term or permanently, if you think it will not work out.
When relationship ends, it hurts a lot, specially, if you have invested so much of your time and efforts and your kids and their kids life have intermingled. Make a choice and stick to it, as it is not easy to do. Remember, your pride and dignity is important too, once you let someone walk all over you, they may do it again. Truly forgive them but you can choose not remain friends.
5. Forgive yourself for your feelings, it is okay to cry (yes, for guys too) but do not blame your self ,if relationship does not survive. One can not clap with one hand, you will need both parties willing to work out situation.
6. Friendships and relationship with people are complex as human emotions are complex. All of us want to be liked but sometimes, we can not please everyone. Do what you feel right for you and follow your gut feelings. Do not stop making new friends because old one hurt you. Sometimes taking a risk will benefit with new friendship that will be better suited for you.
No matter what happens, try to be open minded and calm and try to resolve situation first. If you have hurt someone by mistake, tell your apology from heart, if you think you were not wrong, explain your situation and tell them you never meant to hurt them. All of us like to keep relationship intact but when it is not possible, move on without feeling guilty or blaming yourself.
Life teaches us new things and sometimes we became a better person because of it.
Do you have a story to share? Good or not so good ending? How would you handle your hurt emotions?
Zengirl
How to heal, when you are hurting and move on, when it is hard and you do not want to? I wrote a post not too long ago about being Have you gotten hurt , it was and is very hard for me to deal with.
We can not prevent of getting hurt by other person, as it would be impossible unless we lived alone in woods. But we can steps to minimize the pain and move forward. How so? Let's explore.
1. Write down in journal or write a letter to them (Do not mail it, or give it to them, just write it for your eyes only) Write everything down you feel. Talk your feelings to someone else who will understand and not judge you. If you can not find/trust anyone to listen, that is okay, you can talk to a stuffed toy or picture of your friend and let it know how you are hurt and how it is making you feel in details.
2. Once your initial anger/frustration is out, you can try talking to a person who hurt you in person. Make sure, timing is good for both of you and there are no other distractions. When you talk, keep flow and mind open. Do not accuse or attack person but talk about situation in focus. Once you talk, listen to other person's explanations. It simply could be that person, never realized that he/she was hurting you.
3. Once you talked your feelings out, see how genuine other person's feelings are. If they are truly in dark or truly sorry, you can forgive and be friends with them slowly.
4. Sometimes, most of us are not so lucky, and other person may not feel they have done anything wrong and they accuse you instead. Try to remain calm but firm in your beliefs. Sometimes, you may have to walk out on that relationship for short term or permanently, if you think it will not work out.
When relationship ends, it hurts a lot, specially, if you have invested so much of your time and efforts and your kids and their kids life have intermingled. Make a choice and stick to it, as it is not easy to do. Remember, your pride and dignity is important too, once you let someone walk all over you, they may do it again. Truly forgive them but you can choose not remain friends.
5. Forgive yourself for your feelings, it is okay to cry (yes, for guys too) but do not blame your self ,if relationship does not survive. One can not clap with one hand, you will need both parties willing to work out situation.
6. Friendships and relationship with people are complex as human emotions are complex. All of us want to be liked but sometimes, we can not please everyone. Do what you feel right for you and follow your gut feelings. Do not stop making new friends because old one hurt you. Sometimes taking a risk will benefit with new friendship that will be better suited for you.
No matter what happens, try to be open minded and calm and try to resolve situation first. If you have hurt someone by mistake, tell your apology from heart, if you think you were not wrong, explain your situation and tell them you never meant to hurt them. All of us like to keep relationship intact but when it is not possible, move on without feeling guilty or blaming yourself.
Life teaches us new things and sometimes we became a better person because of it.
Do you have a story to share? Good or not so good ending? How would you handle your hurt emotions?
Zengirl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)