Celebrating meaningful Birthdays

I am into simple and minimalist living, but it sure is a bit more complicated when you have small kids and are surrounded by many consumerist minded family and friends.  Zenguy and I have stopped making a big deal out of our birthdays since kids came along, we still celebrate our birthdays, doing things that each of us really want that, we can not simply go and buy.  For example, I like some alone time, meaning I should be able to take shower without kids knocking on door, writing, reading a book, blog or magazine while sipping hot tea, things that matter most to me. For Zenguy, his passion is nature, music and food. On his special days, either, I cook his favorite food, or sometimes we go out to eat his favorite restaurant and go to easy outdoor hiking or listen to classical music at home.

Kids birthdays are little bigger deals and celebrated with a few friends and family, R is old enough to ask for what he wants to eat, and what he wants as gifts, little P is too young, he is simply happy to be crawling around or play with empty boxes with his brother and us.

Last weekend we had a birthday celebration party for kids, as little P has turned one, and R had turned 5 a few weeks before. We asked everyone to just come, have fun and give blessings to kids, and no gifts. Zenguy and I both believe that R and P have way too many toys and do not need more stuff.  However, at the actual party, everyone came with some type of toys, clothes, and books for gifts. What else could I have done to convince everyone not to bring gifts? Or we as a society, do not know how to stop consumerism even when asked not to buy. I can understand the peer pressure to bring something and not come empty handed, even I would feel the same way many times. However, I would call the host and ask, what do they really want or need and do that and if they still insisted and I felt it was genuine, I would try to honor their wish of no gifts.

Our well meaning friends did not budge so we got so many gifts that we do not need or want. We are going to donate most of these gifts that we got and keep a couple of toys that kids might like, that is the best solution I found that keeps our friends and family happy and us happy too.

I am not against gifts or buying things we may need or want, however, I am against buying so much, more than we could ever use.  Once we went to Christmas party where a 7 year old got about 52 gifts, I saw the kid's eyes light up while opening the first gift, and the second, after the 10th, he was tired, bored and did not care for all the well meant gifts that people gave. I remember growing up with one or two toys, and they were special to me and I remember a doll that I carried everywhere. Now a days, R and P have too many toys, despite our wish to be simple, grandparents, friends and other relatives keep buying stuff for both the kids, thinking we are depriving both our kids by our minimalist approach. My mom who grew up simply, also likes to spoil kids by buying things.  There is a thin balance between your values and other people's emotions.

Some of the gifts that were given to us in past, were not needed, wanted or even useful. One of our friend knows I like cooking, so they gave set of cooking stuff, which included some egg and meat cooking utensils, which were very nice to someone who ate meat or eggs, they were utterly useless to us as life long vegetarians.

While I do not know how to stop others from giving and recycling their unwanted gifts to others; I think most of us will be lot happier if we got useful things as a gifts, such as;

• Hand written coupon for watching kids for an hour or two
• Cooked meal, Running an errand for them
• Lawn mowing (when you are sick or have new baby)
• Experience gifts such as yearly membership to favorite museum
• Teaching something you are expert at and they want to learn/know
• Just one-on-one time : Uninterrupted, talking and listening
• CD compilation of favorite songs, recorded story telling for kids
• Book or journal sharing special memory with them

How about you? What do you really want for your birthday that is meaningful and special to you? How do you celebrate? How do you deal with grandparents, relatives or close friends not honoring your wish so all of us can be happy? Finding a balance is sometime tough, but we have to keep working at it until we are living the life we want to.

Zengirl

Photo source: www.webweaver.nu/clipart

Irony of Recession: Expensive and Cheaper things

 In our recent downturn economy, certain things have became more expensive and other things have became cheaper to purchase. Irony is most basic necessities such as food, medicine, education items have become more expensive while, more want items such as electronics, cars have become a little cheaper. Read on and you be the judge!

Information on statistics of percentage increased and/or decreased is taken from MSN money article here . Analysis and thoughts are mine.

7 things that are getting cheaper:

1. Homes
Although not quite so cheap, house prices have fallen way down in many part of the country, leaving many home owners upside down in their mortgages.

2. Electronics
Electronic gadgets such as flat screen TV, DVD players, camcorders and camera, computer seemed to be getting smaller and cheaper.

3. Clothing
Prices of cheaply made clothes have decreased so much. Many people have to replace their not so well made clothes almost every year. I doubt that it is cost effective in long run.

4. Cars
With recent program "Cash for clunkers" success, car prices seems to be down and making many people believe they can afford newer model of car, and prices of used cars have plunged even more.

5. Air fare
Air fare have decreased but additional fees for baggage, food, seat selections have increased. So it actually makes illusion of reduced  price while actual total prices have increased for flying. I even heard that Ryan air planning to make coin operated restrooms!! I am not sure that will go well with most of the travelers.

6. Alternative energy
Although MSN article mentions alternative energy as getting cheap, I am not quite sure if solar panels are affordable for most average people just yet. Yes, there might be discount for having an alternative energy installed, I am not sure it big enough to qualify as a cheap or even affordable for most of us.

7.  Toys
Cheaply made plastic toys prices have decreased significantly. However, there are still outrageously priced toys sold in a store such as $200 robotic dinosaur, which can move and roar, does our children need that at all? I think not.

7 things are getting expensive

1. Food/Groceries
Prices of staple food such as corn, rice and wheat have increased so much that many poor people in mexico and iraq and other developing countries can barely feed themselves.

2. Medical care
Despite the health care overhaul, prices of medical care and hospital stay have increased, even before recession began. Some of the service have increased  to over 84%  in last 10 year since 1999.

3. College education
College tuition have increased to almost 30% since 2006 to 2009. Many middle class parents can barely afford to send their kids to college now.

4. Gas prices
Gas prices always fluctuates, lower during election time and higher during summer and Christmas holiday vacation time. But it has increased over 6% in a few months time period and that is a lot.

5. Garbage/Water/Utility
In our area price of garbage collection and water usage have increased. There is proposed Utility increase again since last increase in 2005. There are no lower rates for people like us, who compost and have only 2 small bags of trash every week. Rain water collection is also not legal without a permit, in many area too.

6. Beer/Alcohol
Another great reason to give up drinking, raising prices of alcoholic beverages. Enough said.

7. Prescription drugs
Price of prescription drugs have increased over 200% since 1990, who knew? I think even with generic prescription price is still going to be high. It is not so great news for people who are on daily or monthly medication plan such as diabetes or cancer.

What did you think? I would love to what has increased or decreased price wise in your area.

Zengirl

Picture Source: MSN Money

Gifts from heart during Holidays

Christmas is around the corner and many of us share or exchange gifts with friends and family around this time. Many times, these well meant gifts from people, after a few days or weeks, goes unused in some corner of our house and life. How should we give gifts that can be well liked and used by the receiver? Often time, it is possible to do with little thinking on our part. We will discuss a few type of traditional and not-so traditional gifts to give and receive.

1. Give gift of time

Giving gift of time is cost free, but very helpful. For example, give time for babysitting to someone who has small kids, so they can nap, go out or do something they like. You can take your elderly neighbor shopping, who may not be driving well. You can visit someone who is sick, deliver food, help someone with cleaning up their house, garage, mow their lawn etc., possibilities are endless. Make sure you know some tasks that may require longer time, volunteer and offer what you truly can, otherwise you and receiver both will resent it.
Sometimes, just listening others and being there in their time of need is more appreciated than any store bought gifts.

2. Gift of experience

Zenguy used to fly small plane, it has been a while since he has given up this expensive hobby. However, he has taken me and other friends, relatives on city flying tours and it has been wonderful for all of those who received it. You do not have to fly a plane, you can someone to a Museum they always want to go or subject they wanted to know more about. Cooking together also works, I cook meal with R, who makes mess of kitchen but it is a experience he will remember being part of. Watching stars, going camping, learning and doing something together will remain in our mind, long after, compared to silly plastic toys or gadgets.

3. Home made gifts

Simply made handbags, cookies in jar, soups in jar, hand made sweater or blanket, quilt has much more meaning to recipient. Here are some suggestions for home made gifts ideas from web.

Gifts and Crafts from a jar

50 home made gift ideas from the web

Free crafts and gifts made by you
 

4. Other suggestions

 a. Give cash instead of gift cards, as some of the gift cards charges hidden access fees and expires as months rolls by.
b. If you buy store bought gifts, take gift receipt to recipient, so they can exchange freely without being guilty.
c. Ask them what they truly need or want before buying something you "think" they want.
d. Give partial or all money towards a big items they want/need to buy.
e. If you have large family, draw up names so every one needs to buy one or two gifts only, instead of 22.
f. Consider giving to others less fortunate people than you, charitable donation does not need to waited for Christmas time, and can be done through out the year.

Gift Free Christmas

How to celebrate Christmas without money

No Christmas gift this year has unique ways to letting your friends and family know about no gifts and suggesting alternatives instead. Check it out.

Remember, giving gifts from heart is more important than any expensive item. If we can not pay it with cash, or have money to pay when credit card arrives, we should not purchase it. You can celebrate Christmas without money or gifts and still have great time with family and friends.

How do you celebrate holidays with friends and family? What do you like or dislike about the gift givings? I sure would love to hear from you and your suggestions.


Zengirl

White Friday: No shopping day

Black Friday is one of the most busiest and most commercial shopping day in the USA, shopping frenzy is unbelievable. Some of our friends and relatives are big in to shopping Black Friday and has so many strategies to get best deals. There are many websites that promote "leaked" deals and how to get best shopping deals and how to stay safe while you are out there. If you are looking for tips to make a best shopping experience, you will not find it here.

All these tips and wisdom are lost on me. I am too lazy to wake up 4 AM to shop and too frugal to buy things that we do not need. I wrote about how about holidays were hectic in past here and how we are changing it to be more enjoyable by doing less and buying less and doing more things for inner joy instead.

So, as a part of enjoying holidays more, we are having a what I call, a White Friday on November 27, 2009, meaning, we are getting up late, staying in, and not going anywhere near shopping malls or stores.

Actually, we avoid all terms of shopping (other than groceries, and gas filling) from November 20th until January 15th. Why so long? Because, stores are busy with people buying Christmas gifts for themselves and others until December 24th and then going again in store to return/exchange gifts they received and did not like, from December 26th-January 10ish. Staying in long lines to purchase and return items nor getting pushed and shoved while shopping is not my idea of enjoyable holidays, although that is exactly what I have done in past. Not anymore.

About a few years ago, we decided to simplify our shopping and holidays, and it sure has made my life stress free and yet more meaningful. I am not the first to do this, nor alone in this way of thinking. Matter of fact there is a huge following on Buy Nothing Day , which has been getting successful here in US and a few other countries by avoiding shopping on Black Friday.

Here is what Thanksgiving means to me;

Thanksgiving: Giving heartfull thank you to everyone an everything that keeps me alive;

a) People you know, and who has helped you (your inner circle)
b) People you do not know and has helped you (your city, country)
c) People you know and who has helped others (your city, country)
d) People you do not know and has helped others (other countries)
e) People you know, who has not helped anyone but surviving life (your and other countries)
g) Animals/plants/insects/fish/bees who indirectly help us with food, life and love.
h) I am also thankful for clean drinking water, air and land that our planet has, for us to live on.

It may sound idealistic, but if you really think of it, there are so many reasons for us to be thankful and blessed without any store bought gifts. You can not put a price on that. And shopping may provide instant joy for a few people, but it does not bring long lasting joy of being content.

What are you thankful for? How do you celebrate Thanksgiving?

Zengirl

Photo: Adbuster Buy Nothing Campaign

8 items to save money on

There are certain items in life we like to spend our good hard earned money and feel good about money well spent. While, there are a few items, I rather save my money on, as they do not need to be the best available choice in my life. For everyone, this maybe different as it is based on personal choice and priorities. Here is my list of 8 items and my reasons for not spending extra pennies on;

1. Play/everyday clothes
Now, that I am SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) and not a corporate employee, my cloth style is to wear loose and comfortable clothes. I am not talking about formal/business attire here, I am talking about day to day clothes, one that you wear at home or causual outing such as grocery shopping, walking your dog type. Most of my everyday wear clothes are simple, fair quality clothes that will mix and match with other clothes in my small but functional wardrobe.

2. Kid's clothes and shoes
Infant and small kids tend to grow out of their size in short time, it would be waste to spend $30 on a cute outfit that will be worn maybe once before it is outgrown. My 5 month has already grown out of his 6 months clothes. Until kid has learned to walk, spending money on cute and for show-off sandals or shoes is waste of money. One pair of shoes is okay, for special function, wedding etc, but it does not need to be very expensive ones. Save your money and buy basic and functional clothing and shoes items.

3. Special Kid furniture
As soon as marketer put "Kid" or "children" name with of any wooden furniture, price gets doubled. For example, a child dresser would be twice as expensive as regular dresser, instead just buy the horizontal regular dresser as a kid's dresser and color it as you or your child like it and change knobs to kid friendly theme and save your self money and headache, as you will not be tensed when you preschooler paints all over your cheap dresser.

Also, save some money on diaper changing table as once your infant starts to rollover and move, table becomes dangerous place for wiggling infant and changing on floor is better and cheaper option. For some purchase of crib is worth it and others it is not. Find out what works for you before you buy that $300 crib.

4. Brand name Shampoo
I used to believe brand name shampoo will make my hair shiny and wavy like those in commercials. It did not. However,I was able to get similar result for generic store brand shampoo at a much lower cost. In addition, putting little coconut and olive oil on my hair did my hair much more good than those expensive shampoo and hair nourishment products did.

5. Bottle water
Unless you are getting muddy, cloudy and weird tasting water, bottle water is useless stuff to spend your hard earned cash on. Did you know, most of bottled water is actually tap water, only purified? Why spend money when you can get same benefit by buying small filter for home use.

6. Designer Paper plate/cups etc.
There are so many types of brand name design paper products now available for your party, some are as expensive as non disposable products. I would suggest to save your money and also environment by using re-usable plates, cups. If you must use paper plates, generics are as good as most pricier name brands.

7. Big house
When buying a house, most people are told to buy biggest house they can afford. These types of advice makes most of us buy far bigger house than we need or can afford. For 2 people with out kids do not generally need 5 bedroom house with 3 car garage, smaller house will do much better in most situation. We do not need bigger houses, we need less consumer stuff in the house and our house will be large enough for most of us. Less is more sometimes.

8. Big car SUV/Hummer
Same argument as above #7, why buy big car, gas guzzler that costs a lot? Small car gives a better mileage, easy to drive, park and cheaper priced. If you must buy large vehicle due to large family, there are other options such as smaller fuel efficient minivan instead of big SUV or hummer cars.

Did you like the article? Which items you save money on?

Next we will look at items we should more money on, huh? Stay tune for it.

Zengirl